A note about bullying....or in general just being a jerk....

     It's an intimidating little thing...that blinking cursor.  Making me think someone actually might read something I write and - gasp - comment on it.  Why do I think I need the approval of others for anything?  This little life lesson was brought home to me this week when I was putting on my counseling hat for my 10 year old to help her through a situation at school.  Pre teen girls can be so mean.  It reverted me back to my elementary school years which I hated and where I always felt very alone.  I realized that my mom used to say the same thing to me, and I remembered how I thought that she was just saying those things cause she was my Mom and she had to.  I wanted to make sure that my daughter knew this was true...even though I am her mom...

     I told her, "It's ok Sweety, there is nothing wrong with you. I'm sure they like you, and if they don't that's their problem.  You are pretty, smart and very friendly so why in the world would anybody in their right mind not want to be your friend?  And why in the world would you want to be their friend if they are mean to you?"  That was the burning question. One which, as I get older and older (I'm 43), I think about often.  I wish that we would all "just get along" and treat everyone the way we want to be treated.  I wish we did think of others and how they might feel if they are left out of something fun.  I wish..but I don't know what to do about it except to try and teach my kids to remember how they feel when they are excluded...either intentionally or by accident, and not treat other people that way.  I don't know what to do with this situation.  "When you get to college, somehow, the bullies seem to go away."  But even that can be untrue. How do we help our kids develop that tough alligator skin without developing the teeth that come with it?  It breaks a mother's heart, and stirs up a helpless anger inside me that I haven't felt in a long time.

     SO, I reverted to humor...or at least my version of it...I started mimicking the girl who is bullying my daughter.  I slicked my hair back like she wears it and stuck my nose up in the air and pretended to be her and started taunting my daughter.  The laughter was like salve to my soul.  "Do it again Mom...That's hilarious!"  I did it again and again until we were both laughing and crying at the same time.  Maybe that's the only way through something like that...Maybe laughter is the best medicine...unless, of course, you have something like TB...

-Yvette