The Adventures of Harvey the House Squirrel...continued...

     So, there I was...trapped in the box in the cold attic with the large woman and her kid screaming at me with no where to go and no way out...However, I am a cunning little guy, and I know that the box must come up at some point in time because there is no way they are gonna let a squirrel stay in a box in their attic.  Being a keen reader of human females, I also know that I have about a 5 second "surprise" element of time in which I can easily make some kind of shrieking noise and then the large woman will jump back giving me just the right amount of time to make it to the secret hole in the attic roof.  I waited patiently, paws ready to spring in the direction of my escape, then it happened.  Slowly, the box lifted, I made the biggest shriek I could and just as predicted, the large woman jumped back, and I leaped for all I was worth toward the exit.  I didn't know I could fly, but oh how I did.   Off I went to the secret hole that led to the roof.  I stopped just outside the attic where I was sure I was safe, and I heard the large woman on the phone with the large man telling him how they had a "rodent" problem and would need to call an exterminator.  I knew I would never see my little insulation home again. 

     Now it was time to come up with another plan.  I knew I wanted to stay on this side of the street cause my pal, Ollie, had found out first hand what happens to squirrels who decide they can tempt fate and try to get across the street right in front of a car.  It's an old game of squirrel versus car that, I am sad to report, we squirrels usually lose.  I miss Ollie...Anyway, I thought for a minute that I could maybe stay in a different part of the house, but I know these exterminators, they usually put out poison in the form of treats and you think you're getting something good, but you wind up worse off than Ollie.  I decided that I would go back to my parents' nest and see if I could bunk there for the rest of the winter. It wouldn't be forever, just till I found a nest of my own.  I began the journey to my parents tree.  It was just over the creek, in fact the tree was rooted in the creek.  My Mom loved it.  She said it had a great view and lots of room to store their nuts. I was nervous to crawl back home.  It had been a few months since our last visit, and it hadn't been a very pleasant visit.

     I first caught a glimpse of Mom leaping from the neighbor's tree to home, and she seemed as spry and happy as ever.  Then, I saw Dad, but he saw me first and had a very stern look on his face that said, "Oh, great, the dead beat is home."  I made myself swallow my pride and then, put on a smile. 
     I said, "Hey, Dad!  How ya doin?"
     He stood up, crossed his arms, started tapping his foot, and said, "Harvey, you know you broke your mother's heart when you didn't come home for Christmas and you forgot her birthday, and let's not even mention that you failed to make an appearance on 'National Squirrel Parent Appreciation Day'." 
     Then, to my surprise, he put his arm around me, sighed deeply, then said, "Let's go eat lunch...You can tell us about your latest problems."
     After my mother quit hugging and kissing me and reprimanding me for missing all her favorite holidays, we sat down to eat our evening nuts.  I told them about my home in the attic, and how I had barely missed being exterminated by the big human woman and her box and how there was no way I could go back there.  And, uh say, by the way, can I stay here awhile till I find my own tree? 
     My Dad looked at me like he had heard this song and dance before, but then he looked over at Mom and she said, "Of course Harvey!  We were just using your old room for nut storage, but we can rearrange things. How long do you think you'll be staying?"
     "Well, just till the winter is over and nut production picks up, " I said.
     I saw my Dad almost choke on his nutmeg and then he said, "Oh, that long, eh?"
     Mom said, "Well, I'm sure you'll be able to find something soon Dear. I'll go start moving things around for you."
    When she had left the room, Dad looked at me and said, "You have till the first day of spring - not one day longer. Get on it!"
    And so began my return to the nest with all it's safety and quirkiness like parents who fight all the time but still stay together and regular meals and no fear of exterminators.  All was well, until the next morning and I ran into....her... 

More later....
 
 

The Adventures of Harvey the House Squirrel...

     Hello, my name is Harvey.  I am a squirrel, brown with a little touch of gray, and I live in the attic of a brick house where a family of humans reside. They do not know I am here.  I keep it that way on purpose. They only know what I want them to know.  I have lived here since I was a baby squirrel.  I was thrown out of the nest high up in the oak tree above the house after my parents wanted me to go out and forge for myself at the ripe old age of 3 years.  I mean, come on...if you're gonna have a baby, take care of it right?  Anyway, not long after that, I found an opening under the roof and I've enjoyed a nice cozy hide out ever since.  The wires and insulation make great beds, and sometimes the kids who live here leave food lying around.  I go into their rooms and the kitchen when no one is here. They keep their big black dog in the laundry room during the day so I just sit outside her door and laugh and point and say, "Ha! You big bully. You can't catch me!"  That's so much fun.  Gotta make sure she never catches me though.  That would be bad.  I'm not a singing squirrel like those goofy, famous chipmunks.  How degrading.  I can talk if I want to, but I would never talk to a human.  They would just want me to become a stupid singing chipmunk to make money for them.  No, I have it pretty darn good here.  Well, at least, I did. 

     One day last week, the mom of the family got a wild hair and decided to clean out the attic.  Three years of  peace and quiet and then she has to decide -on one of the coldest days of the year I must add- to clean out the attic.  Tucked up under the corner in a cozy sheet of insulation, I was sleeping really well, dreaming of my nuts when all of a sudden, the door sprang open and it started to get really loud.  Boxes were being turned over and pillaged through.  I stayed as quiet as I could and watched in terror as the big woman came closer and closer to me.  She got distracted by a big box of kids' toys and sat down to sort through them.  I thought "This might be my only chance, I've gotta make a break for it!" I mustered all the courage my little pointy head could think of and then made one scurry from my bed to the box just mere inches away from the big woman's foot. For a moment, she stopped and looked my way, but my cunning, stealthy moves prevented her from seeing me and as she looked closer, I slinked my way around to the opposite side of the box.  Luckily, she didn't investigate further. I breathed a sigh of relief. She went back to her stool and resumed her pillage through the village of what she called junk.  I was hoping I could just sneak my way to the attic hole that led to the roof so I would be free, but freedom was not to be mine just yet. With one foot forward, and both eyes on the big woman, I took one small step and when I turned to start running, I saw her. it was the littlest human staring straight at me.  Her big blue eyes told the story of what was about to be announced with an ear piercing scream of "Mommy!  Look, a squirrel!"...To my horror, I turned and looked up just in time to see a big box being thrown over me.  I couldn't escape. I was trapped.  No cozy insulation. No yummy wires to munch on.  I was doomed.  What in the world would happen next?  Well, I'll let you know in my next blog....